[bad word] my dear friend the mosquito 
For making my toilet bowl his humble home 
He taught me in the face of hardship you can never sink too low 
I would never jeopardize anything's survival 
So long as that same thing stayed the [bad word] away from mine 
I've probably killed a thousand bugs plus countless more I stepped on Accidentally 

That makes me a hypocrite 
But everything is relative 
If we always sweat the small stuff we will dry up 
I'm just another human being 
Oblivious to everything 
Another evolutionary miracle 

I'd like to think that there's at least one thing redeemable 
In each and every one of our seven billion souls 
I've logged 20 years and counting in the field of people watching Regrettably I haven't quite found out the things I wanted 
Cause for everything that moves me there are ten things that confuse me 
But I'm no saint myself 

That makes me a hypocrite 
But everything is relative 
With the world up on our shoulders it will [bad word] us 
I'm just another human being 
Oblivious to everything 
Another evolutionary miracle 
The only public place that I've ever seen [bad word] love 

Was the baggage claim at the Baltimore airport 
father reunited with his two excited children 
I probably would have cried but right then a cop rode by on a Segway And he looked ridiculous so I laughed instead 

That makes me a hypocrite 
But everything is relative 
If we don't pull together now, we may never get the chance 
Because all of use are human beings 
Oblivious to everything 
Together and remarkable 
Disdainful and despicable 
Another evolutionary miracle