The following song is brought to you by Chex Mix. 

Some dude once said 
That love is a many funny things 
I know there's a perfect girl out there for me 
Cuz I see her in my dreams 

Dream girl, you're a fantasy 
You're the only one, out there for me 
My love 

Dream girl you amaze me 
All dressed in paisley 
Love how not one but both eyes are lazy 
When I first saw you you were driving the bus 
Thick skin, strong nose like a rhinoceros 

Dream girl so beautiful, lips all [bad word] 
Skin like asphalt, nose [bad word] 
Thick thighs, no waist 
Not a care in the world 
You're not crazy girl, you're just my baby girl 

Yo, you a vision in sweats with a neon pouch 
Half-eaten squirrel hanging out of your mouth 
Rainbow poncho 
The female tonto 
Hear a loud noise start b-b-buckin like a bronco 

Dream girl, you're a fantasy 
You're the only one, out there for me 
My love 

You got your cell phone ring set to [bad word] & The City 
You're like a hot bowl of grits only way more gritty 
Straight drippin in turquoise my Santa Fe queen 
One short leg, you got the Santa Fe lean 

It's music to my ears when you scream in your sleep 
And when you lift your skirt in public, yo, I can't help but peek 
You're like Cleopatra, with the eyes of a pig 
Love to watch you in the backyard when you go out to dig 

Girl how'd you get those mousetraps glued to your neck? 
Little rascal, how'd you get screwed to the deck? 
You put away slurpies like a trash can 
You're smile's all stainy and you're not too brainy, and... 

I LIKE THAT 
Talking to your shoe like it's your friend 
I LIKE THAT 
Yelling at the walls and make pretend 
I LIKE THAT 
Telling you to stop and then you don't 
You say you're gonna stab me in my sleep 
BUT YOU WON'T 

Last week thought I saw you on the street 
Turns out it was a bag of trash 
Just a big ole bag of trash 
I thought you looked like a bag of trash 

Dream girl I pitch a tent when you stomp in the room 
Like a hellbound turkey mixed with a baboon 
You're y and you're spicy like a bowl of Chex Mix 
And I always feel safe when I'm in your flesh mits 

Your teeth so clean coulda swore you were British 
Never take your Chex Mix cuz you always get skittish 
Open clams with both feet cuz your ambidextrous 
No point, cuz we know you eat nothing but Chex Mix 

Chex Mix, number one food snack in the land 
It's the cereal taste that you eat with your hand 
Chex Mix, at your local grocer buy a box 
Your family will all say: 
CHEX MIX ROCKS 

Chex Mix, you're the snack for me 
You're the only one, I'll ever eat 
Or buy 
Chex Mix, you're delicious 
You got sixty percent less fat 
Than potato chips 
TM