[Shakira:] Source: LYBIO.net
Did you all know that I’m still alive?
I’m making a song so I’m still relevant
Have to shake my [bad word] to disguise the fact that whenever I sing
I sound like I’m yodeling
No one understands me or the words I say it’s like I am gargling water
And did you know
I just had a baby wanna see it feed?
Well if you stay
I’ll show you, show you, show you

Oh oh oo oh oh
Oh oh oo oh oh
Please don’t remember to forget me
Oh oh oo oh oh
Oh oh oo oh oh
I sound exactly like a def girl now
And if you look at me then you will clearly see
That I’m much hotter with my hair straight

Oh oh oo oh oh
Oh oh oo oh oh
Oh no, the secret to my weird voice

P.S. I’m besties with Rihanna

[Rihanna:]
gig is a gig
Here for the drinks
I’ll do anything
If I get paid in advance
I really don’t know who Shakira is
I honestly thought this was a Kesha video
Hold on for a second
Hold on for a sec
I need to take a nude for Insta
Source: LYBIO.net

 [bad word] she’s a ho

We like putting big brown things inside our mouths.

I think I feel a [frog ribbit]
Oh no!

Ew gross!

Oh oh oo oh oh  [bad word] sound]
Oh oh oo oh oh  [bad word] sound]
We’re both having  with the air now
Oh oh oo oh oh  [bad word] sound]
Oh oh oo oh oh  [bad word] sound]
Does anybody have any Pepto?
God these walls feel so good
Nothing beats real hard wood
Oh [bad word]  I just got a splinter
Ohhhh — Ohhhhh!

[Chris Brown:]
Oh [bad word] no get off my ho
You can’t forget me cause I beat you
Nobody rolls with my [bad word] but me!

[Rihanna:]
Chris, what’s wrong with you, we are not even together!

[Chris Brown:]
What are you talking about. We are together – you are my [bad word] #33;

[Director:]
Hey brother, we are tying to shot a music video.

[Chris Brown:]
 [bad word] you! Rihanna [bad word] with Breezy.

[Rihanna:]
No! Chris! Don’t – don’t – we’re going to the Grammy’s…… we’re going to the Grammy’s.

[Director:] Source: LYBIO.net
Bloody [bad word] #33; [bad word] it! Shakira Action!

[Kermit:]
That’s her right there boys
That [bad word] stole my voice
Prepare to get your Latin [bad word] sued

[Shakira:]
I did not steal it
Don’t sue me Kermit
I was just borrowing it you [bad word] 

[Kermit:]
You’re gonna do hard time for this horrendous crime.

[Security:]
Nobody [bad word] with the Muppets!

[Shakira:]
Oh oh oo oh oh
Oh oh oo oh oh
Who’s gonna take my job at the voice?

[Kermit / Shakira:] Source: LYBIO.net
Um…yeah, Christina I thought the song was okay, just not really your best. I saw you nailing the song all week in rehearsals but I don’t know – I just – guess tonight really wasn’t your night. Maybe next time try something with a little more Latin flavor.

Yo! Is there something up with Shakira?
Yo, I don’t know man, but she seems way less annoying today.
Ya.
Ya, I think so too.