I took two weeks vacation for the honeymoon
couple tickets all inclusive down in Cancun
I couldn't get my money back so I'm in seat 7A
I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

I bet the fella on the aisle thought I was crazy
Cause I taped your picture to the seatback right beside me
Now I've got empty mini bottles fillin' both our trays
I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

Buyin' drinks for everybody
But the pilot, it's a party
Got this 737 rocking like a 
Stewardess is somethin' y
Leanin' pourin' Coke and whiskey
Told her about my condition
Got a little mile-high flight attention
It's Mardi Gras up in the clouds
I'm up so high, I may [bad word] down
I'll try anything to drown out the pain
They all know why I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

We had this date marked on the calendar forever
We'd take that new wed limo airport ride together
I feel like a plastic groom alone there at the top of the cake
So hey, I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

Buyin' drinks for everybody
But the pilot, it's a party
Got this 737 rocking like a 
Stewardess is somethin' y
Leanin' pourin' Coke and whiskey
Told her about my condition
Got a little mile-high flight attention
It's Mardi Gras up in the clouds
I'm up so high, I may [bad word] down
I'll try anything to drown out the pain
They all know why I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

On my way home I'll bump this seat right up to first class
So I can drink that cheap champagne out of a real glass
And when we land I'll call her up and tell her kiss my [bad word] 
'Cause hey, I'm [bad word] on a plane

Buyin' drinks for everybody
But the pilot, it's a party
Got this 737 rocking like a 
Stewardess is somethin' y
Leanin' pourin' Coke and whiskey
Told her about my condition
Got a little mile-high flight attention
It's Mardi Gras up in the clouds
I'm up so high, I may [bad word] down
I'll try anything to drown out the pain
They all know why I'm getting [bad word] on a plane

I'm getting [bad word] on a plane
I might be passed out
In the baggage claim
But right now
I'm [bad word] on a plane