Eat Your Vegetables?
The U.S. federal government, displaying even less sense than usual, is yielding to the French fry
industry. Frozen French fries—cut, fried in oil, and then packaged—are being approved as “fresh
vegetables” by the US Department of Agriculture (USDA).
The French fry industry has been asking the USDA for years to get this approval. They say that
their product is similar to cucumbers that have wax on them. They argue that they use 100
percent vegetable oil, which is much healthier for consumers than plain wax.
Most consumers, of course, beg to differ. “You must be joking,” says Annie, 50. “How can
you think a product that’s deep-fried in oil is a fresh vegetable? Even if I cooked broccoli, I could
no longer call it fresh broccoli—it’s cooked! I wish I were a [bad word]  so my congressman
would help me. Unfortunately, I’m only a citizen.”
The USDA defends its decision, saying that potatoes undeniably are vegetables. “Although
French fries are fried in oil, they are still potatoes. If you let them sit on your counter for a
couple of weeks,” a USDA employee said, “the fries will rot just like all other fresh vegetables.”
Consumers say the USDA has totally lost touch with the public. “They'd probably say that
eggshells are healthy if [bad word] asked them to,” says one consumer.