"Let's meet contestant number one
He's a skitsofrantic serial killer clown
Who says "woman love his y smile"
Let's find out if his charm will work on Sharon
Sharon what's your question?"

"Contestant number one
I believe first impressions last forever
So let's say you were [bad word] over to my parent's house
And have dinner with me and my family
Tell me what you would do to make
That first impression really stick"

[V.J] Let's see uh well I'd have to think about it
I might show up in a tux HA! but I doubt it
I'd probably just show up naked like I always do
And look your momma in the eye and tell her " [bad word] YOU!!!"
Hurry up [bad word] I'm hungry I smell spaghetti
I'd pinch her loopy [bad word] and tell her "Get the food ready!"
Your dad will probably start tripping and get me [bad word] 
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his [bad word] lips!
It's dinner time we hearing grace from your mother
I pull a forty out and pour some for your little brother
I'm steady staring at your sister I'll tell you this
You know for only 13 she got some big [bad word] 
After that your dad will try to jump again
And only this time I'd put the forty to his chin
After you mom does the dishes and the silverware
I'd dry [bad word] her till I nut in my underwear 

"Now let's me contestant number two
He's a psychopathic deranged crackhead freak
Who works for the Dark Carnival
He says women call him stretch nuts
Sharon let's hear your question"

"I like a man who's not afraid to show his [bad word] emotions
man who expresses himself in his own special way
Number two if you fell in love with me
Exactly how would you let me know?"

[S.2D.] First thing I could never love you
You sound like a richie [bad word] yo [bad word] YOU!!!
But if I did I'd probably show you that I care
By taking all these other [bad word] outta here
I'd go through your phone book and whack em all
And find contestant number one and break his [bad word] jaw (what?!)
Anyone who looked at you would have to pay
I'd be blowing [bad word] nuggets off all day
I'd grab your [bad word] and stretch em down past your waist
Let em go and watch em both spring up in your face
I'd sing love songs to you the best I can
Get you naked and hit it like a CAVEMAN!!!
When we go to the beach and walk through the sand
I throw a little in your face and say I'm just playin
As you spit it all out [bad word] your back
And grab your underwear and wedge it up your [bad word] crack!!

"Well it sounds like contestant number two
Is just over-flowing with sensativity Sharon
It's a touch choice so far
Sharon let's have your last question and
See which one is going to win the rights to your neden"

"Okay if we were at a dance club and you both noticed me at the
Same time. Tell me how would you each get my attention and what would
Your pick up line be? Well whoever's the smoothest wins!"

[V.J] Okay first I'd slide up to the bar
And tell you that I can't believe how [bad word] fat you are
I'd tell that I like the way you make your [bad word] shake
And if you lost a little weight you'd look like Rickie Lake!

[S.2D.] [bad word] that you'd be jocking me quick
I'd order you a drink and stir it with my [bad word] 
And then to get your attention in the crowded place
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face

[V.J] Yeah freak with your nuts yo that'll get her
Tell her that's she fat yeah that'll work even better
Look [bad word] you I got a strong rap
 [bad word] you don't want contestant number two
He's mad-whack

[V.J] I walk into a bar and there he was
Standing up by a bucket eww trying to [bad word] it
It was a big [bad word] smelly [bad word]