Nothing else has worked so far
So I'll wish upon a star
Wondrous dancing speck of light
I need a Jew

Lois makes me take the rap
Cause our checkbook looks like [bad word] 
Since I can't give her a slap
I need a Jew

Where to find
Baum or Steen or Stein
To teach me how to whine and do
my taaaaaxesss...

Though by many they're abhored
Hebrew people I've adored
Even though they killed my Lord
I need a Jew

Max:
Hi, my name's Max Weinstein,
my car just broke down,
can I use you phone?

Peter:
Now my troubles are all through
I have a Jew!

Max:
Hey!