Lyrics: 
Whenever I see someone less fortunate than I, 
And letâ  s face it, who isnâ  t less fortunate than I? 
My tender heart tends to start to bleed (And Iâ  m not telling you the color) 
And when someone needs quadrant advice, 
Iâ  ve plenty knowledge in supply! 
I know, I know exactly what they need! 

And even in your case (Ampora) 
Though itâ  s the toughest case Iâ  ve yet to face (again) 
Donâ  t worry, this time we will succeed 
Follow my lead, 
And yes indeed, weâ  ll fix yourâ ¦ 

trollromance! Weâ  ll get you a trollromance 
Iâ  ll teach you the proper poise 
When you talk to boys 
Little ways to flirt and flounce 
Iâ  ll show you what shoes to wear! 
How to fix that hair! 
Everthing that helps to find you aâ ¦ 

trollromance! Iâ  ll help you with trollromance 
Youâ  ll hang with the right cohorts, 
Youâ  ll be good at sports, 
Know the slang youâ  ve got to know. 
So letâ  s start, 
â  Cause youâ  ve got an awfully long way to goâ ¦ 

Donâ  t be offended by my frank analysis, 
Think of it as personality dialysis, 
Now that I have chosen to [bad word] 
Your moirail and advisor, 
Thereâ  s nobody wiser! 
Not when [bad word] toâ ¦ 

trollromance! I know about trollromance 
And with an assist from me, 
To be who youâ  ll be, 
Instead of pompous who you wereâ ¦ well, are. 
Thereâ  s nothing that can stop you, 
From your Matesprit anymoreâ ¦ marâ ¦ 

La la, la la! 
Weâ  re gonna fix your trollromance 

When I see some hopeless dude, 
Who cannot even sense the mood, 
I remind him on his own behalf 
That - there - are 
Ways to capture the attentions 
Of disagreeable troll wenches 
We donâ  t require brains or knowledge! 
Donâ  t make me laugh! 

This is a Quadrant thing! 
Please! And you know [bad word] THAT can be 
Itâ  s not about making sense 
Itâ  s all pretense 
So itâ  s pretty confusing, 
To understand romance and Nepetaâ  s shipping wall like me 

Why, Mister Ampora, just look at you. *chuckles* You look pretty [bad word] good without those ridiculous hipster frames. 

Everybodyâ  s a criticâ ¦ 

And though you protest, 
Your disinterest, 
I know deep in my heart 
I betcha didnâ  t know that 
You were charming from the start 
(Idiotâ ¦) 

La la, la la! 
Just donâ  t forget to get that [bad word] a whale~ 
 [bad word] love whalesâ ¦)
Read more at [bad word]  [bad word] listen/tebe#0tVDJ8vhwGlwc2rm.99