Niko it's your cousin! 
Why don't you take me bowling... 

I came into this country 
To leave a life of trouble 
But ever since since I got here man 
My blood pressure has doubled 

These promises of freedom 
And mammary attractions 
Turned out to be a bunch of [bad word] 
And misleading distractions 

My cousin is an idiot 
He’s always in a mess 
And cleaning up his problems 
Is a constant source of stress 

And every time I’m on a job 
He won’t leave me alone 
Every hour every minute man 
He rings my bloody phone... 

Niko it’s your cousin! 
Why don’t you take me bowling! 
And afterwards we’ll go get [bad word] 
And go a rock-n-rolling! 
Cousin, it’s your cousin! 
Let’s get a Bleeder Burger! 
And wash away the taste of all 
That carnage, crime & murder 

Niko it’s your cousin 
Why don’t you take me bowling... 

Roman what the [bad word]  
Now is really not the time... 
I’m kind of in the middle of 
quite demanding crime 

I’m driving like a maniac 
I’m on a high speed chase 
And you want me to desist 
So you can stuff your fatty face? 

Why don’t you phone these cops 
And tell them to calm down 
Maybe then I’ll have the time 
To ferry you around 

I’ll phone you when it’s over 
If I don’t hit a wall 
And then I’ll show you just where 
You can stick your bowling balls 

Niko it’s your cousin! 
Why don’t you take me bowling! 
And afterwards we’ll go get [bad word] 
And go a rock-n-rolling! 
Cousin, it’s your cousin! 
Let’s get a Bleeder Burger! 
And wash away the taste of all 
That carnage, crime & murder