I'm laying in bed
With a lit cigarette
Can't say if last night
Was a blonde or [bad word] 
Megawatts is on the phone
Keeps blowing me up
And there's three shots of whiskey
In my coffee cup

I'm a bad mutha [bad word]  heeh
(Hehehehe)
I'm a bad mutha [bad word] (I'M BAD MUTHA [bad word]  Hehehe)

I can polish off a bottle
In the blink of an eye
I can drink all night
And not pay a dime

Just to soon kick your [bad word] As I take a [bad word] [bad word]  even Chuck Norris
Don't want none of this

I'm a bad mutha [bad word] (Hehe)

I can pick up any chick
I meet at the bar
I can even take the one
Right off of your arm

I got a woman at home
Got a kid on the way
I got a girl in New York
And four more in L.A.

I'm a bad mutha [bad word] (Mutha [bad word]  hehehe)
I'm a bad mutha [bad word] (Hehe)
(Hahaha)

I got hookers by the hand
Four-five at a time
But they're the ones paying me
By the end of the night

Pimps hunt me down
And try to get the cash
And then me and Samuel Jackson
Bust a cap in their [bad word] 
We're bad mutha [bad word] (Hæh!)
Bad mutha [bad word] [bad word] on
(Hahaha)

Writing bad checks
To the I.R.S.
I'm a master at passing
Sobriety tests

(Hahaha!)

Selling dope to the Hot Topic
Kids at the mall
I'm like O.J. baby
I get away with it all

(Hahaha!)
It wasn't me
(Hahaha!)

I'm a bad mutha [bad word] (Hehehe)
And he's in jail mutha [bad word] [bad word] on

I got a room in my house
For my ten foot bong
I'm pretty sure George Thorogood
Wrote me a song

I'm a bad, bad, bad
To the bone, mutha [bad word] 
Bad to the bone
(Bad mutha [bad word] )

There's only one [bad word] that may be badder than me
And that would be Rob Corddry
(Hahaha)

By the way
Before I sing this
You should know
I was raised Catholic

But
I'm a virgin alterboy

(hahaha)

I get stoned on sunday
Take my grandma to church
I pick up all the girls
In catholic skirts

Tell them that I got
big van full of toys [bad word] it looks better than the preacher 
Jerking off little boys

He's WORSE than a bad mutha [bad word] (Hahaha)

I'm a bad mutha [bad word] He's a bad bad man

(HAHAHA!)
Just saying
Don't even know what to call that
Burning in [bad word] 

My dad is so proud of me, hahaha