I had a little cheeseburger, he was my only friend.
 I took him to the picture house and loved him til the end.
 I had a Venus flytrap on my windowsill
 And he ate all the flies that came in my room.

Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 He’s my only friend in the whole wide world.
 Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 Or I’d have to cut your head off with a blunt chainsaw.

I had a little doughnut, I ate him for my tea.
 I put him in the microwave ad I burned my mouth on the jam.
 I stole a child’s accordion and used it to do this:
 But then mein father broke it and it damaged all his face.

Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 He’s my only friend in the whole wide world.
 Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 Or I’d have to wipe the remnants of the ketchup on your face

Please don’t tread on my venus flytrap, he’s my only friend in the whole wide world!
 He was little, and green, and he kept me safe from flies:
 But then I forgot to water him, and he died and
 It was very very sad

Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 He’s my only friend in the whole wide world.
 How would you like it if I stole your television
 And I gave it to a wizard in exchange for magic beans?

Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger,
 He’s my only friend in the whole wide world.
 Please don’t tread on my cheeseburger.
 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
 Ha ha ha ha ha
 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
 Ha ha ha ha ha
 HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA
 Oh Oh Oh No.