Keeping you head on you body.
Knowing the nose on your face.
Knowing the reasons we're naughty.
Shaving the lane with much haste.

I dug the texture, but I didn't dig the taste.
I speak the language, but I can't recall the handshake.
Felt kind of guilty cause it felt like such a waste.
Don't [bad word] a soul when all the mustaches are fake.

Under the rocks is the water.
Under the ground where it's safe.
Under the heat where it's hotter.
Holding the nose in it's place.

Tell a taller tale, happy pulling on the leg.
We're singing Dixie till the 'stache got in the way.
I bought it last time just to prove it was a fad.
I only bought it this time cause the mustache was rad.

Ugly like that. Kiss it on the lips.
In the middle it sits. The hair was such a hit.
And with a lip this fat, we can tickle all the bits.
Because with a 'stache this rad, the [bad word] is gonna slip.

Looking your best in the bottom.
Filling your pants up with beans.
Soaking them long like you oughtta.
B-b-busting the part at the seams.

They blame it on us, even though it ain't out fault.
They say they're worthy, but they're seldom where they're saught.
They only drive down if they think they know the deal.
They're birds were made of plastic, but the mustache was real.

Ugly like that. Kiss it on the lips.
In the middle it sits. The hair was such a hit.
And with a lip this fat, we can tickle all the bits.
Because with a 'stache this rad, the [bad word] is gonna slip.