first you get down on your knees,
fiddle with your rosaries,
bow your head with great respect,
and genuflect, genuflect, genuflect

 do whatever steps you want, if
 you have cleared them with the Pontiff.
 everybody say his own
 Kyrie Eleison,
 doin' the Vatican Rag.

 get in line in that processional,
 step into that small confessional,
 there, the guy who's got religion'll
 tell you if your sin's original.
 if it is, try playin' it safer,
 drink the wine and chew the wafer,
 two, four, six, eight,
 time to transubstantiate

 so get down upon your knees,
 fiddle with your rosaries,
 bow your head with great respect,
 and genuflect, genuflect, genuflect!

 make a cross on your abdomen,
 when in Rome -- do like a Roman,
 Ave Maria,
 gee it's good to see ya,
 gettin' ecstatic and
 sorta dramatic and
 doin' the Vatican Rag