General Francisco Franco
 Never went outside
 And jumped into his car
 And took a ride

 And Adolf Hitler
 Would stay in his house, watch his soaps
 Close all of the blinds 
 And drink cheap beer

 And Mussolini, yeah
 Never ate ice cream
 Whoa-oh

 And Attila the Hun
 Never fell in love
 Never plucked a flower from the ground
 And put it in her hair, where it belonged

 And Joseph Stalin
 Never went downtown
 Kicked off both of his shoes
 And ran around

 And Mussolini, yeah
 Never ate ice cream
 Whoa-oh

 Mussolini, yeah
 Never ate ice cream
 Whoa-oh

 And Richard Nixon
 Hated poetry
 Said "Other people's feelings
 Mean nothing to me"

 If only the Ku Klux Klan
 Would all wear skirts
 Get subscriptions to Ebony
 So many people wouldn't get hurt

 And Mussolini, yeah
 Never ate ice cream
 In the summer
 With the top down
 It'd drip on his lap
 And that would be fine