Well Ali Baba had them forty thieves
 Scheherezad-ie had a thousand tales
 But master you in luck 'cause up your sleeves
 You got a brand of magic never fails
 You got some power in your corner now
 Some heavy ammunition in your camp
 You got some punch, pizzazz, yahoo and how
 See all you gotta do [bad word] that lamp
 And I'll say

 Mister Aladdin, sir
 What will your pleasure be?
 Let me take your order
 Jot it down
 You ain't never had a friend like me
 No no no

 Life is your restaurant
 And I'm your maitre d'
 C'mon whisper what it is you want
 You ain't never had a friend like me

 Yes sir, we pride ourselves on service
 You're the boss
 The king, the shah
 Say what you wish
 It's yours! [bad word] dish
 How about a little more Baklava?

 Have some of column "A"
 Try all of column "B"
 I'm in the mood to help you dude
 You ain't never had a friend like me

 Can your friends do this?
 Do your friends do that?
 Do your friends pull this out their little hat?
 Can your friends go, poof?
 Well, looky here
 Can your friends go, Abracadabra, let 'er rip
 And then make the sucker disappear?

 So doncha sit there slack jawed, buggy eyed
 I'm here to answer all your midday prayers
 You got me bona fide, certified
 You got a genie for your chare d'affaires
 I got a powerful urge to help you out
 So what-cha wish? I really wanna know
 You got a list that's three miles long, no doubt
 Well, all you gotta do [bad word] like so - and oh

 Mister Aladdin, sir, have a wish or two or three
 I'm on the job, you big nabob
 You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
 You ain't never had a friend, never had a friend
 You ain't never had a friend like me
 You ain't never had a friend like me, hah!