Oooh! Never hit your Grandma with a shovel
It makes a bad impression on her mind
-----
All I want is 50 million dollars

And seal silk to protect me from the cold.

If I only knew how stocks would go in Wall Street

And were living in the mountains built of gold.

If I only owned Pennsylvania Railroad

And if Tuesday Weld would only be my wife (Oh, Tiny!)

If I could only stay sixteen forever

Then I'd know that I'd be satisfied with life.

All I want is wheatgerm for my breakfast

Champagne fountain sizzling at my feet

While Rockefeller waited on the table

And a barrel's band playin' while I eat.

If I only owned Western Union cable

And if Tuesday Weld would only be my wife (Tiny, I love you!)

if I could only stay sixteen forever and ever and ever

Then I'd know that I'd be satisfied with life.

(spoken)

Hello, my dear friend,

 [bad word] away from all this world,

It's a great big beautiful world

With fabulous happy faces around

Well, I can see this one over here, you lovely thing,

Why, it's beautiful, it's clean, and it's calm and it's modern,

If I can have them all, why, I'll tell you, I'll tell you

Then I'd know that I'd be satisfied with life.