[Something's not right, I don't understand]

Nowadays I keep to myself
Everybody else can look some other way
Things I say seem to get me into trouble
That I've been through for too many days

And trouble is a friend of mine
I'd like to leave behind
I like my friends more refined

Things I lose
Weighing on my heart
Every time I start to think
Maybe it's through

little lie
Goes a long way when you can't say
Quite for sure what's the [bad word] The [bad word] is something no one really
Wants to hear you say
Just how you doin and have a nice day

Nowadays you go for a walk
Better not stop and wave or say hello

Just this song
People will spit, give you [bad word] Just for looking at them
And for walking too slow

Slowly and methodically
I'll lock the world away
Haunted by my better days