I [bad word] my teeth, and look in the mirror
And laugh out loud as I'm beaming from ear to ear
I'd rather pick flowers instead of fights
And rather than flaunt my style
I'd flash you a smile of clean pearly whites

I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills
"Have a seat" he says pleasantly
As he shakes my hand, and practically laughs at me
"Open up nice and wide" he says peering in
With a smirk he says "don't have a fit this'll just pinch a bit"
As he tries not to grin

When hygienist leave on long vacations
That's when dentists scream and lose their patients

Talking only brings the tooth aches on
Because I say the stupidest things
So if my resolve goes South
I'll swallow my pride with an aspirin, and shut my mouth

Golf and alcohol don't mix
And that's why I don't drink and drive
Because, good grief I'd knock out my teeth
And have to kiss my smile goodbye

I've been to the dentist a thousand times so I know the drill
I smooth my hair, sit back in the chair
But somehow I still get the chills