Sally called, when she got the word,
She said "I suppose you've heard about Alice."
So, [bad word] to the window, and I looked outside,
And I could hardly believe my eyes,
big limousine pulled slowly into Alice's drive.

I don't why why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,
'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice.

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?) 

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance,
To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance,
Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice. 

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?) 

We grew up together, two kids in the park,
Carved our initials deep in the bark......
Me and Alice.
Now she walks to the door with her head held high,
And just for a moment, I caught her eye,
As the big limousine pulled slowly out of Alice's drive.

I don't why why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,
'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice.

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?) 

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance,
To tell her how I'm feeling, maybe get a second glance,
Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice.

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?) 

Then Sally called back, and asked how I felt,
She said "I know how to help get over Alice."
She said "Now, Alice is gone, but I'm still here.
And you know I've been waiting twenty four years.........."
And the big limousine disappeared.......

I don't why why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know,
'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice. 

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)

Twenty four years, just waitin' for a chance,
To tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance,
But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice.

(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)

No, I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice..