[bad word] Band
There's [bad word] band that plays tunes out of tune
In the library garden Sunday afternoon
While a little chappie waves a golden wand [bad word] Band
In 1910 I was so handsome and so strong
My moustache was stiffly waxed and one foot long
And I loved a girl while you played teatime tunes
 [bad word] Band, you're playing my tune out of tune 
oh [bad word] Band
Won't you play a haunting theme again to me
While I eat my scones and drink my cup of tea
The sun is warm but it's a lonely afternoon

Oh, play that theme [bad word] Band
How I wish that I could join [bad word] Band
We could play in lively parks throughout the land
And one Sunday afternoon, I'd find my love [bad word] Band,
In the '14-'18 war I went to sea
Thought my Sunday love was waiting home for me
And now she's married to the leader of the band, oh

Oh yeah... I hope you break your baton