Please mister, don't touch me tomato
Please, don't you touch me tomato
Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato

Touch me this, you touch me that
Touch me everything I've got
Touch me plum, me apples too
But here's one thing you just can't do

All you do is feel 'em, feel 'em
Ain't you tired of feel 'em, feel 'em
All you do is squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em
Ain't you tired of squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em

Please mister, don't touch me tomato
Please, don't you touch me tomato
Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato

Please mister, take advice from me
The more you look, the less you'll see
But if you just must have your way
Double the price you've got to pay

All you do is feel 'em, feel 'em
Ain't you tired of feel 'em, feel 'em
All you do is squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em
Ain't you tired of squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em

Please mister, don't touch me tomato
Please, don't you touch me tomato
Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato

You're hard like a coconut
Nuts, oh nuts, are nothing but ?
Make up your mind, man, what is what

All you do is feel 'em, feel 'em
Ain't you tired of feel 'em, feel 'em
All you do is squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em
Ain't you tired of squeeze 'em, squeeze 'em

Please mister, don't touch me tomato
Please, don't you touch me tomato
Touch me on me pumpkin, potato
For goodness' sake, don't touch me tomato