Who made me the genius I am today,
The mathematician that others all quote?
Who's the professor that made me that way,
The greatest that ever got chalk on his coat?

One man deserves the credit,
One man deserves the blame,
And Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name,
Ay! Nikolai Ivanovich Lobache-

I am never forget the day I first meet the great Lobachevsky.
In one word he told me secret of success in mathematics:
Plagiarize!

Plagiarize,
Let no one else's work evade your eyes,
Remember why the Good Lord made your eyes,
So don't shade your eyes,
But plagiarize, plagiarize, plagiarize -
Only be sure always to call it please 'research'!

And ever since I meet this man
My life is not the same,
And Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name,
Ay! Nikolai Ivanovich Lobache-

I am never forget the day I am given first original paper
to write. It was on: analytic and algebraic topology of
locally Euclidean meterization of infinitely differentiable
Riemannian manifold.
Bozhe moi!
This... I know... from nothing.
What... I'm going... to do?
I think of great Lobachevsky and get idea - Ha-ha!

I have a friend in Minsk,
Who has a friend in Pinsk,
Whose friend in Omsk
Has friend in Tomsk
With friend in Akmolinsk.
His friend in Alexandrovsk
Has friend in Petropavlovsk,
Whose friend somehow
Is solving now
The problem in Dnepropetrovsk.

And when his work is done -
Ha-ha! - begins the fun!
From Dnepropetrovsk
To Petropavlovsk,
By way of Iliysk,
And Novorossiysk,
To Alexandrovsk to Akmolinsk
To Tomsk to Omsk
To Pinsk to Minsk
To me the news [bad word] 
Yes, to me the news [bad word] #33;

And then I write
By morning, night,
And afternoon,
And pretty soon
My name in Dnepropetrovsk is cursed,
When he finds out I publish first!

And who made me a big success
And brought me wealth and fame?
Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name,
Ay! Nikolai Ivanovich Lobache-

I am never forget the day my first book is published.
Every chapter I stole from somewhere else.
Index I copy from old Vladivostok telephone directory.
This book was sensational!
Pravda - well, Pravda.. Pravda said:
"Жил-был король когда-то, при нем блоха жила" - 
It stinks.
But Izvestia! Izvestia said: 
"Я иду куда сам царь идет пешком!" - 
It stinks.
Metro-Goldwyn-Moskwa buys the movie rights 
for six [bad word] 
Changing title to 'The Eternal Triangle',
With Ingrid Bergman playing part of hypotenuse.

And who deserves the credit?
And who deserves the blame?
Nikolai Ivanovich Lobachevsky is his name!
Ay!