hmmm, i dont even wanna [bad word] do this song for real, but i wouldnt be real if i didnt....

i be sitten by myself n i be thinken mama what have i [bad word] all i wanted was a family but i when i look i be the only one
losin everything but money everybody left and i dont even get to see my young
only happiness i get is in the studio when i get to do [bad word] on the road
doin shows
get the woes
when it slows
gettin cold
gettin owed
but the flows
gettin sowed
i been doin this a minute, but i think i want to end it, cuz i think im on a higher level when i go
but the music i be doin it, be losin it, imma make it really tough for me to grow
all i wanted was a family portrait
see my babys on a ranch with horses
but i was [bad word] devil [bad word] in corsets
i was never really good, then i torched it
im sorry mrs jackson im speakin for real
and i never meant to make ur daughter cry
but i guess im a failure with women
im lost and i feel like i oughtta die
feel like it, im rottin away
my life is jus off in the gray
how much does it cost i will pay
to lay and be off in a coffin today
i mean off in ashes, this life and after it clashes, if i get blasted,
this is suicide letters all over again i thought that i passed it
but i guess that i didnt cuz this one is written and there is no mending
but i broke imma a joke when i croak i jus hope that i wont be descending
but this aint a joke i want you to know that tech nina is never pretending
alone in my bed with a gun to my head asking where is my happy ending
yea...
 [bad word] 
tell me who it is
what about me
where is my happy ending
what about me
is this a life worth living
you know how it beakons
but how does it end for me
will i ever live
or does he have it in for me
will this pop before i stop breathin
is there light in this dark im seein

yea...
i put my life in this music
nina is inside out
i set my heart out for people
they kno what the inside bout
will they keep feelin nina forever this i doubt
can never cry for help so if u listenin this my (shout)
im searchin for the passageway to happiness
but im worldly so i have to lay in nastiness
yes this a strange year, worldwide fames near
but the games [bad word]  sometime i feel like [bad word] the reindeer
but instead of a red nose
i stay in my red clothes
and the music they said blows
is on the top and the cred grows
can u ressurect a motha [bad word] that feel like he possess a dead soul
deteriorates when inferior state almost equal to bread mold
now as my head goes, wish i could shed those
because all of the times the nina was shorted, when i bled froze
so now that im cold blooded and hella sick is what the med shows
the tred slows and dont even think u revivin a dead rose
yea...
 [bad word] 
tell me who it is
what about me
where is my happy ending
what about me
is this a life worth living
you know how it beakons
but how does it end for me
will i ever live
or does he have it in for me
will this pop before i stop breathin
is there light in this dark im seein

listen...
im on the verge of insanity but [bad word] im breakin so i picked this one to vent
the reason i look away when you talk to me my brain is producin evilness
im drownin in 151 [bad word] i meant, thats how i feel...

i sit in the mirror with this gun and practice how to kill
but i know [bad word] well that the people like me really wanna know how to chill
this is life is bout it check bout it (???)
think of all the love i lost
because my quest is not a meal
i feel like you stupid
dont talk to me im crackin up
i dont mean laughter im full of bitterness and its backin up
and i live with angels but lately demons been shackin up
tug of war with my spirits, see the blood im hackin up
i love my kids and my fans, inside i sob harder
cuz u paid the price for my life and its right like bob barker
and