(Spoken) Hey! All you Helots, you Zealots, you Peleponnesians, you Lakadaemons, all of Leonidas's army, lets get barmy, for the Spartan High School Musical! GOOOOOO SPARTA!

Today I'm staring High School
Where boys are turned to men
I've packed my sword and shield
We don't use paper or pen!

Everyone's a jock here
We don't have Spartan nerds
The weedy kids were left to die
As breakfast for the birds!

We're taught to love a fight
We're taught not to be meek
And if we're good they feed us
Three square meals every week!

Lets go fighting now
Fighting is exciting now
Rocking at the Spartan School!

At Spartan Kindergarten 
I'm the boss, it's understood
I smack 'em if they're naughty
And I thwack 'em if they're good!

I'm feeling rather peckish
I'm gonna steal some food...
Caught! I'll have to punish you
Ungrateful Spartan brood!

We promise not to steal
We're not the thieving sort
Stealing is considered good
What's wrong is getting caught!

Lets get beating now
Learn lies and cheating now
Rolling at the Spartan School!

We have a bunch of contests
To see who is the best
The meanest, leanest, roughest
Toughest Spartan contests!

This one is my favourite game
Lashings of good fun!
Didn't feel a thing...
I want my mum!

We pass our last exam
And it's Spartan graduation
Straight away we go to work
No time for celebration!

Ten years active service
In the army- no diversions
There's only one job for a Spartan:
Killing loads of Persians!

If you're wondering about love-
It's banned until you're thirty
High School doesn't teach romance
It teaches fighting dirty!

Lets go fighting now
Fighting is exciting now
Rocking at the Spartan School!

Lets get beating now
Learn lies and cheating now
Rolling at the Spartan School!