Don't smoke, don't fight, don't light no cigarettes,
Or else you'll wind up in the can!
No jokes, no rights, sit tight, don't fool around,
You are a guest of Uncle Sam!
Stand up, look right, don't slouch, and stand at ease,
Allow no  above the knees!
When I snap, you jump into the master plan,
I'll be damned!

Well, I'll be damned...

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke!
Damned if I steal your joke!
I'll be damned if I go for broke!
Damned if I do, damned if I don't!
Wuh!

Don't talk, don't fool, don't try to mess around,
I'll make a monkey outta you!
You sign your name right on the dotted line,
Boy, I'll be damned!

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke!
Damned if I steal your joke!
I'll be damned if I go for broke!
Damned if I do and damned if I don't!
Yuh!

SOLO
 [bad word] on!

I'll be damned if I drink or smoke!
Damned if I steal your joke!
I'll be damned if I go for broke!
I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't!
I'll be damned if I drink or smoke!
Damned if I steal your joke!
I'll be damned if I go for broke!
I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't!

I'll be damned!
I'll be damned!
I'll be damned!

I'll be damned! I'll be damned!
I'll - be - damned!