I was sitting in the back yard sucking on a Good Humor
 [bad word] a Doc, says my wife has a tumor
And it was malignant

Now the AMA and the medical highers
They don't agree with Liggette & Meyers
They say smoking is bad for you
 [bad word] of a cough, too

Well, there is cancer of the liver; there is cancer of the lung
Cancer of the lip, the throat, the tongue
There's 17 malignant tumors in one filter tip king size
Now light up

Well, a cigarette was needed that was relatively clean
 [bad word] out with filters, low tar & nicotine
All that research gone to waste
No harmful ingredient, no cigarette taste

Well, [bad word] panicked, they had to find an answer
They increased the tobacco strain and everybody's getting cancer
Look what I got free with these cigarette coupons
chest X-ray

Well, the hashish interest in Mexico
Has found a way to redouble their dough
Let's all get the habit, marijuana's here to stay
So if you want a treat and you don't mind the treatment
Smoke pot! It's the thinking man's cigarette