Pirelli's Miracle Elixir 

Pirelli's Miracle Elixer
Toby
Ladies and gentlemen! 
May I have your attention, please!
Do you wake every morning in shame and despair, 
to discover your pillow is covered with hair, 
or what not should be there? 

Well, ladies and gentlemen, 
From now on you can waken at ease! 
You need never again have a worry or care, 
I will show you a miracle, marvelous, rare. 
Gentleman, you are about to see something 
wot rose from the dead! 
On the top of my head 

T'was Pirelli's 
Miracle Elixir, 
That's what did the trick, sir,  [bad word]  sir, [bad word]  
Was it quick sir? 
Did it in a tick, sir, 
Just like an elixir 
Ought to do! 

how about a bottle mister?
only costs a penny guaranteed.

Does Pirelli's 
Stimulate the growth, sir? 
You can have my oath, sir, 
'Tis unique.  [bad word] a minute 
Stimulatin', i'nt?
Soon you'll have to thin it 
Once a week! 

Sweeney Todd
pardon me ma'm what's that awful stench?

Mrs. Lovett
are we standing near an open drench?

Mrs. Lovett (said with Sweeney)
pardon me sir what's that awful stench?

Sweeney Todd (said with Lovett)
are we standing near an open drench?

Toby
Buy Pirelli's 
Miracle Elixir
anything will slick, sir,suits brass, curls

Try Pirelli's 
when they see how thick, sir
you can have your pick, sir, 
of the girls!

Wanna buy a bottle misses?

Sweeney Todd
What is this?

Mrs. Lovett
What is this?

Sweeney Todd
Smells like [bad word] 
Mrs. Lovett
Smells like, ew!

Sweeney Todd(said with Lovett)
What is this? This is [bad word]  [bad word] with ink

Mrs. Lovett (said with Sweeney)
I wouldn't touch it if i was you, dear

Toby
Let pirelli's activate your roots, sir

Sweeney Todd
keep it off your boots, sir, eats right through

Toby
you're scared pirelli's is usable and of it, 
ladies seem to love it

Mrs. Lovett
Flies do too.