[Песня описывает женщину, заключившую с рассказчиком пари, что он не сможет вызвать у неё оргазм; в итоге она наблюдает, как он занимается сексом с её сестрой, а пари он выиграл]

I couldn't say where [bad word] #39; from,
But I just met a lady named Dinah-Moe Humm
She stroll on over, say look here, bum,
I got a forty dollar bill say you can't make me [bad word] 
Y'jes can't do it
She made a bet with her sister who's a little bit dumb
She could prove it any time all men was scum
I don't mind that she called me a bum,
But I knew right away she was really gonna [bad word] 
So I got down to it
I whipped off her bloomers 'n stiffened my thumb
An' applied rotation on her sugar plum
I poked 'n stroked till my wrist got numb
But I still didn't hear no Dinah-Moe Humm,
Dinah-Moe Humm

Dinah-Moe Humm, Dinah-Moe Humm
Where's this [bad word] #39; from
I done spent three hours an' I ain't got a [bad word] 
From the Dinah-Moe, Dinah-Moe,
Dinah-Moe from the Dinah-Moe Humm

Got a spot that gets me hot!
An' you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot!
An' you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
Got a spot that gets me hot
But you ain't been to it
'Cause I can't get into it unless I get out of it
An' I gotta get out of it before I get into it
'Cause I never get into it unless I get out of it
An' I gotta be out of it to get myself into it

She looked over at me with a glazed eye and some bovine perspiration on her upper lip area and she said
Just get me wasted an' you're half-way there 
'Cause if my mind's tore up, then my body don't care
 [bad word] my chinny-chin-chin an' said my-my-my
What sort of thing might this lady get high upon?
The forty dollar bill didn't matter no more
When her sister got nekkid an' laid on the floor
She said Dinah-Moe might win the bet
But she could use a little [?] if I wasn't done yet

I told her just because the sun want a place in the sky
No reason to assume I wouldn't give her a try
So I pulled on her hair got her legs in the air
An' asked if she had any cooties on there

Whaddya mean cooties! No cooties on me!

She was buns-up kneelin' BUNS UP!
I was wheelin' an dealin' WHEELIN' AN' DEALIN' AN' OOOOH!
She surrender to the feelin' SHE SWEETLY SURRENDERED
An' she started in to squealin'

Dinah-Moe watched from the edge of the bed
With her lips just a-twitchin' an' her face gone red
Some drool rollin' down from the edge of her chin
While she spied the condition her sister was in
She quivered 'n quaked an' clutched at herself
While her sister made a joke about her mental health
'Till Dinah-Moe finally did give in
But I told her all she really needed was some discipline
I said Kiss my aura...Dora...
Because it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, Fauna?
Do you wanna?