[Intro]
I own a mansion, but live in a house
king-size bed, but I sleep on the couch
I'm Mr.Brightside, glass is half full
But my tank is half empty, gasket just blew

[Verse 1]
This always happens
30 minutes from home gotta lay a log cabin
And only option I have is McDonalds's bathroom
In a public stall dropping a football
So every time someone walks in the john I get Madden
''Shady, what up?''- [bad word] on, man, I'm crapping
And you're asking me for my got [bad word] autograph on a napkin?
Oh, that's odd, I just happened [bad word] out of tissue
Yeah, hand me that, on second thought I'd be glad then
''Thanks, dawg, name's Todd, a big fan''
I wiped my [bad word] with it, [bad word] it up in a wad and threw it back and
Told him ''Todd, you're the [bad word] ' when does all of this [bad word] end?
Can't park my [bad word] without causing an accident
Puff my gas, cut my grass, can't take out the [bad word] trash
Without someone passing through my sub harassing
I'd count my blessings, but I suck at math
I'd rather wallow then bass suffering from succotash
But the antacid is my stomach gas
I mix my corn with my [bad word] mash
Potato, so what, ho, kiss my country bumpkin [bad word] Missouri Southern roots, what the [bad word] is upperclass
Call lunch dinner, call dinner supper
Tupperware in a covered plastic wear up the [bad word] Stuck in the past, iPod, what the [bad word] is that?
B-boy to the core, mule, I'm a stubborn [bad word] 
[Hook]
Maybe that's why I feel so strange
Got it all, but I still won't change
Maybe that's why I can't leave Detroit
It's the motivation that keeps me going
This is the inspiration I need
I can never turn my back on a city that made me
(Life's been good to me so far)

[Verse 2]
They call me classless, I heard that, I second and third that
Don't know what the [bad word] I would doing if it weren't rap
Probably be a giant [bad word] sack
But I blew, never turned back
Turned 40 and still sag
Teenagers act more [bad word] mature, Jack [bad word] you gonna say to me?
I leave on my own terms, [bad word]  I'm going berzerk
My nerves are bad, but I love the perks my work has
I get to meet famous people, look at her, dag
Her nylons ran, her skirt snag
And I heard she drag-races, *burp* swag
Tuck in my Hanes shirt tag
You're Danica Patrick (yeah) work, skag
We'd be the perfect match
Cause you're a vacuum, I'm a dirtbag
My apologies, no disrespect to technology
But what the heck is all of these buttons?
You expect me to sit here and learn that? [bad word] I gotta do to hear this new song from Luda?
Be an expert [bad word] 
I'd rather be an encyclopedia Britannica, [bad word] with a Playstation
I'm still on my first manual from Zelda
Nintendo, [bad word] [bad word]  jump, punch, stab and I melt the
Mozzarella on my spaghetti, put in on bread
Make a sandwich with welch's and belch
They say this spray butter is bad for my health, but
I think there's more white trash from the trailer
Jed Clampett, Redd Sanford welfare mentality helps to
Keep me grounded, that's why I never take full advantage of wealth, I
Managed to dwell within these parameters
Still cramming the shelves full of Hamburger Helper
I can't even help it, this is the hand I was dealt to
Creature of habit, feel like I'm trapped in an animal shelter
With all these pet peeves
God dammit to [bad word]  I can't stand all these kids with their camera cellphones
I can't go anywhere, I get so mad I can yell, the
Other day someone got little elaborate
And stuck a [bad word] dead cat in my mailbox
Went to Burger King, they spit on my onion rings
I think my karma is catching up with me

[Hook]

[Bridge]
Got friends on Facebook, all over the world
Not sure what that means, they tell me it's good
So I'm artist of the decade,