Now and then we like to play one guitar together.
And that’s convenient since we only have the one
Tony sold our other [bad word] to pay some gangsta’s but he’s still in debt
And if they catch him he will surely be dismembered.
Tony is addicted to a wide array of narcotics
He says that they help him write, but we’re a cover band.
I’m not sure why we keep him in the band.
Maybe it’s because he drives the van
The rest of us can only drive an automatic.

This used to just be my guitar.
Now Dave is bangin on it like he’s f-ckin Tito Puente
We all look sad because we're starved
Tonight for dinner we’re spliting a candy bar.
We are the poorest band in the world.
We have to act like we’re camping but we’re really homeless.
And I don’t even own this voice.
We had to borrow it from Peter Gabriel
Don’t you know you gotta Shock The Monkey.
Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
Sledgehammer
Oompa loompa doompadee doo.
My feet are cold cause Tony sold my shoes.

I don’t think that we should blame our problems all on Tony.
Tony is not the only dead beat in this band.
I don’t wanna name any names.
But Derick, Timothy and Dave
Each have fooled around with me.
I threw up this morning, now I’m gonna have a band baby.
You could have mentioned that before.
How can we afford to put a kid through kindergarten.
(Ahhhhhhhhhhhh)
(Ahhhhhhhhhhhh)
Hey guys where did Tony go?
You all know that Tony can’t be left alone.
And now he’s got the camera
If he sells it then we will officially have nothing.
There is nothing Tony can’t destroy.
But no one else knows how to do the plinky noise.
The clinking noise.
We need Tony!
To do the Clinky noise
Somebody get Tony – he does the clinky noise.
And send us some money for the clinky noise.
For the clinky noise.
My stomach feels funny.