My teeth have never looked quite this yellow and my body never quite this fat
I'll pay well over the odds just to have some teenage abandoned back
I hit the ice of the 5th of Jan and I swear it was an act of fate
But I don't get angry when I'm felling down
I just take my thoughts into the center of town

And Schumacher the Champagne
Whoever needed good cause to celebrate
Schumacher the Champagne, might as well be proud of last place

We used to set ourselves on fire when chemistry was twice a week
And now I pay for it over a counter whilst they [bad word] fitness freaks

My bad habits are taking over all the good left inside
But I don't get angry when I'm feeling down
I just take my thoughts into the center of town

And Schumacher the Champagne 
whoever needed good cause to celebrate
Schumacher the Champagne, might as well be proud of last place
And Schumacher the Champagne never needed good cause to celebrate
Oh take me as I am [x3] or not at all
Or not at all [x5]