Me first day in the shipyard, the gaffer says to me,
"I want ye to go to the store lad and get a few things, ye see?
Now here's a list, can ye read lad? Can ye read it back to me?
And me and the boys'll listen while were having wah morning tea."

Now reading was me pride when I left school at fourteen,
There wouldn't be no problem here, I'd show them I was keen,
But when I starts to reading, they just couldn't hold their mirth,
Hugging themselves and spluttering like they was giving birth.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that's me [bad word] "
The gaffer pats me on the head and sends me on me way,
He says, [bad word] back empty handed lad, or I'll have to dock yr pay."

So I gets to the store all nervous and the quartermaster's there,
I pulls the list out of me pocket and I starts to read all square,
Well I hadn't barely finished when the store-man's face turns red,
He gives me such an evil look I thought I'd soon be dead.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that's me [bad word] "
The store-man swipes me on the head and sends me on me way,
With a kick in the [bad word] for me efforts, and such was my first day.

I gets back home that evening and me mother says to me,
"How was it son? How was your day? Sit down and have some tea."
I told her of the list I'd read and the trouble I was in,
I couldn't go back tomorrow or the gaffer'd have me skinned.

"First off a brace of sky hooks and a packet of nail holes neat,
And then three cans of tartan paint, and that's me [bad word] "
Me mother swipes me on the head and sends me on me way,
With a kick in the [bad word] for me efforts, and such was my first day.