Jack Black (Narrator):
long [bad word] [bad word]  time ago,
In a town called Kickapoo,
There lived a humble family
Religious through and through.
But hey there was a black sheep,
And he knew just what to do.
His name was young J.B.
And he refused to step in-line.
vision he did see of [bad word]  rockin' all the time.
He wrote a tasty jam
And all the planets did align.

Jack Black (Son):
Oh the dragons balls were blazin'
As I stepped into his cave.
Then I sliced his [bad word]  [bad word] 
With a long and shiney blade!
'Twas I who [bad word] the dragon, [bad word] lie sing [bad word] a loo!
And if you try to [bad word] with me,
Then I shall [bad word] you too!
Gotta get it on in the party zone!
I gots to shoot a load in the party zone!
Gotta lick a toad in the party zone!
Gotta suck a chode in the party zone!

AHHHHHHH

Meat Loaf (Father):
You've disobeyed my orders son,
Why were you ever born?
Your brother's ten times better than you,
Jesus loves him more.
This music that you play for [bad word] from the depths of [bad word] 
Rock and roll's the devil's work,
He wants you to rebel.
You'll [bad word] a mindless puppet;
Beelzebub will pull the strings!
Your heart will lose direction,
And chaos it will bring.
You'd better shut your mouth,
You better watch your tone!
You're grounded for a week with no telephone!
Don't wanna hear you cry,
Don't wanna hear you moan!
You gotta praise The Lord when you're in my home!

Jack Black (Son):
Dio can you hear me?
I am lost and so alone...
I'm askin' for your guidance,
Wont [bad word] down from your throne?
I need a [bad word] Who will teach me how to rock.
My Father thinks you're evil,
But man, he can suck a [bad word] 
Rock is not the devil's work,
It's magical and rad.
I'll never rock as long as I am
Stuck here with my Dad...

Ronnie James Dio (Dio poster):
I hear you brave young Jables,
You are hungry for the rock.
But to learn the ancient method,
Sacred doors you must unlock.
Escape your father's clutches,
And this oppressive neighborhood.
On a journey you must go,
To find the land of Hollywood!
In The City of Fallen Angels,
Where the ocean meets the sand,
You will form a strong alliance,
And the world's most awesome band!
To find your fame and fortune,
Through the valley you must walk.
You will face your inner demons.
Now go my son and rock!

Jack Black (Narrator):
So he bailed from [bad word] Kickapoo
With hunger in his heart.
And he journeyed far and wide
To find the secrets of his art.
But in the end he knew
That he would find his counterpart.
Rooooock!
Rah-ha-ha-ha-hock.
Raye-yayayayaye-ya ROCK!!