Scotty doesn't know that Fiona and me 
Do it in my van every Sunday.
She tells him she's in church but she doesn't go
Still she's on her knees and Scotty doesn't know!

Oh Scotty doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
So Don't Tell Scotty!

Fiona says she's out shopping,
But she's under me and I'm not stopping...

Because Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty doesn't know! (X3)
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!

Don't tell Scotty!

I can't believe he's so [bad word] 
While I'm right behind you [bad word] 
Fiona's got him on the phone,
And she's trying not to moan.
It's a three-way call and he knows nothing!

Scotty doesn't know!(X3)
So don't tell Scotty!
Scotty doesn't know!(X3)

We'll put on a show!
Everyone will go!
Scotty doesn't know!(x3)

The parkin lot
Why not? It's so cool when you're on top!
His front lawn in the snow
Life is so hard because Scotty doesn't know!

We did it on his birthday...

Scotty doesn't know!(X4)

Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty won't know!
Scotty doesn't know!
Scotty's gotta know!
Gotta tell Scotty!
Gotta tell him myself!
Scotty doesn't know! (X10)

[Chant] Scotty doesn't know! (x7)
[Chant] Scotty's gotta go!