[Intro]

[Hook]
These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts

[Verse I]
Look, I've finally married someone, I'm in love, I'm not alone
But marriage has some [bad word] of its own
And that creates a problem cause if I go and put that in my lyrics then my wife will be the first person to hear it
I married my best friend. I've got the best friends and a stack of photos covered in some dust particles and some dead skin
Sometimes I think about the baby that I used to be and how it's all just ultimately leading to my eulogy
You see, life hurts like a [bad word] sometimes. I mean sometimes, I hate the [bad word]  sunshine so I go get enough wine at one time to lay up in my confines and unwind while vibin' to some Sublime
I just want to take my mind off all this angry fan mail accusing me of selling out, telling me I ran stale
Getting hurt by people that I'm trying to please, apparently I need to rap while on the flying trapeze
Jeez, I bought another lottery ticket tonight and out the six numbers I picked not one single digit was right
But life's been so stressful that I'll be honest, the last thing I need is a hundred million dollars

[Hook]
These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts

[Verse II]
Listen, these days my dad is my friend
Last night at the Super Bowl we had martinis with gin and he told me that he thinks Beyonce is a 9.5- maybe a 10, she has really pretty skin, and I smiled
I like smiling. I like fantasizing about the day I'm gonna own my own island
I like fantasizing about the day that this anxiety won't constantly be turning all my skies gray
Over-analyitcal, constantly self-critical, I don't need three wishes, just one: make me invisible
Cause I remember days I'd get on stage to a crowd of twenty people and only five of them paid
Rich kids with college [bad word] up and saying,  [bad word] fame and money. Never (___?)
I love your music, I downloaded all of it free. Why would you care? You're a rap star, your profit is deep."
Jeez, life hurts like a [bad word] but sometimes I love it. Seriously, sometimes I look at my life and straight love it. But only on the days I close my eyes and say [bad word] it

[Hook]
These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short, just lounging in my basketball shorts

[Bridge]
And I'm looking for and I'm looking for tomorrow cause paradise is found in a bottle, paradise is found in a bottle, yes it is
And the woman on the plane in front of me, she keeps farting and it smells so bad that I can't take a nap
I think she's gotta take a [bad word] but that's neither here nor there
Here we go

[Verse III]
Look man, I'm just searching for a pot of gold
I fear the day that people say my heart has gotten cold
Staring at my friends at Guitar Center, I am your broken-hearted, scarred, minner
Oh [bad word]  I'm gonna have a baby in like ten days
He's gonna be my little prince, I can't wait
Life is intense and you know I'm gonna take a knife when I glimpse

[Hook x4]
These are the things that I think when I've had a bottle of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short when I'm lounging in my basketball shorts
Wait, no, no
These are the things that I think when I've had two bottles of red wine to drink
And I hope another dream don't have to fall short when I'm lounging in my Jayhawks basketball shorts. That's KU, by the way
These are the things that I think when I've had three bottles of red wine to drink
And I want a couple LA tacos and some moth