All you lasses in Parnassus, swallowing swords 
Shooting out fire at us heathen hordes 
I was thinkin` something before I began 
But then you done cut off both of my hands 
Now I do my drinking from bamboo straws 
Constantly kicking at tarantulas 
What was I thinking, move to Baltimore? 
Oh yeah, the great outdoors! 

Jump into the water 
Keel-hauled on the Constellation 
Don`t sell my belongings 
`Cause you know that I`ll be baaack 

Remember when I told ya that I was a samurai? 
Well the fact of the matter is, that was a lie 
There were some other things that I`d rather not recall 
Y`all can blame it all on the alcohol 
But you ain`t got no business criticizing me 
This is my house and I`ll do as I please 
What was I thinking, move to Baltimore? 
Oh yeah, the great outdoors! 

Jump into the water 
Keel-hauled on the Constellation 
Don`t sell my belongings 
`Cause you know that I`ll be baaack 

Move it on over and give me a slice 
If you`re in the market for green zucchini 
Farmers` Almanac got the largest size 
Winnebago woman, whatcha cookin`? 
Move it on over and give me a slice 

I`d be a richer man today if it weren`t for physics 
If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets 
And maybe do an interview with Larry King while flooooaaaating 
I`d be a richer man today if it weren`t for physics 
If I could levitate I would sell lots of tickets 

Move it on over and give me a slice