Middle class is magical
safe world free from strife
Let bad things happen to other folk
While you read Country Life
Buy an AGA, wear a Monsoon dress
Get your food from M&S
Own an iPhone, watch Bear Grylls
Take antidepressant pills

Middle class is magical
Drive a 4x4 to school!
Keep three sorts of hummus in your fridge
Make-over your downstairs loo
Learn to salsa, ski in Verbier
Drink too much Chilean Chardonnay
Ignore the homeless, don't mind burkas
Condescend to migrant workers

When all the world is middle class
There'll be no poverty or starvation
'Cos we'll all grow our own mangetout
And Myleene Klass [bad word] the nation!
Because...

Middle class is magical
Join us and you'll see
You're already halfway there
'Cos you're not watching ITV!
Yes, middle class is magical
What matters is what we wear
Let's pay someone else to do the difficult jobs
While we work on our hair

Middle class is magical, yeah!