Two For The Price Of One

He had what you might call a trivial occupation
He cleaned the platforms of the local railway station 
With no romance in his life 
Sometimes he wished he had a wife 
He read the matrimonial advertising pages 
The cries for help from different people, different ages 
But they had nothing to say 
At least not until the day 
When something special he read 
This is what it said: 

If you dream of the girl for you 
Then call us and get two for the price of one 
We're the answer if you feel blue 
So call us and get two for the price of one 
If you dream of the girl for you 
(If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you) 
Then call us and get two for the price of one 
(Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one) 
We're the answer if you feel blue 
(We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with we two) 
So call us and get two for the price of one 
(Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one) 

He called the number and a voice said, "Alice Whiting" 
The voice was husky and it sounded quite exciting 
He was amazed at his luck 
The purest streak of gold he'd [bad word] 
He said, "I read your ad, it sounded rather thrilling 
I think a meeting could be mutually fulfilling 
Why don't we meet for a chat 
The three of us in my flat 
I can't forget what I read" 
This is what it said: 

If you dream of the girl for you 
Then call us and get two for the price of one 
We're the answer if you feel blue 
So call us and get two for the price of one 
If you dream of the girl for you 
(If you are dreaming of someone who might be right for you) 
Then call us and get two for the price of one 
(Why don't you call us and you'll get two for the price of one) 
We're the answer if you feel blue 
(We may be the answers to your problem, a chance with we two) 
So call us and get two 
(Why don't you call us and you'll get two) 
For the price of one... 

She said, "I'm sure we must be perfect for each other 
And if you doubt it you'll be certain when you meet my mother"