Have a banana, Hannah,
Try the salami, Tommy,
Give with the gravy, Davy,
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Try a tomato, Plato,
Here's cacciatore, Dorie,
Taste the baloney, Tony,
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

I fix your favorite dishes,
Hopin' this good food fills ya!
Work my hands to the bone in the kitchen alone,
You better eat if it kills ya!

Pass me a pancake, Mandrake,
Have an hors-d'oeuvre-y, Irvy,
Look in the fendel, Mendel,
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Hannah! Davy! Tommy! Dora! Mandrake!
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Pastafazoola, Talullah!
Oh, do have a bagel, [bad word] 
Now, don't be so bashful, Nashville,
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Hey, this is a party, Marty,
Here, you get the cherry, Jerry,
Now, look, don't be so picky, Micky,
'Cause everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

All of my friends are [bad word] 
Don't make me coax you, moax you,
Eat the tables, the chairs, the napkins, who cares?
You gotta eat if it chokes you!

Oh, do have a knish, Nishia,
Pass me the latke, Macky,
Chile con carne for Barney,
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Face! Buster! Chair! Chops! Fump!
Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!

Everybody eats when [bad word] to my house!