Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of me plight
and at the time of writing, I am not a pretty sight;
me body is all black and blue, me face a deathly gray
and I write this note to say why Paddy's not at work today.

Whilst working on the fourteenth floor some bricks I had to clear;
 to throw them down from such a height was not a good idea.
the foreman wasn't very pleased, the bloody awkward sod
he said I'd have to cart them down the ladders in me hod.

Now, clearing all these bricks by hand it was so very slow,
so I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below.
But in me haste to do the job I was to blind to see
that a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me.

So when I untied the rope the barrel fell like lead
and clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead.
Well, I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
that halfway up I met the bloody [bad word] down.

Well, the barrel broke me shoulder as to the ground it sped,
and when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head.
Well, I clung on tightly numb with shock from this almighty blow
and the barrel spilled out half the bricks fourteen floors below.

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope, my body racked with pain
When half way down, I met the bloody barrel once again.

The force of this collision, half way up the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty state of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And I landed on the broken bricks the barrel scattered round.

I lay there groaning on the ground I thought I'd passed the worst
But the barrel hit the pulley wheel, and then the bottom burst
shower of bricks rained down on me, I hadn't got a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground, I let go the bloody rope.

The barrel then being heavier then started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay upon the floor
It broke three ribs, and my left arm, and I can only say
That I hope you'll understand why Paddy's not at work today.