My friend Fats, he's a [bad word] of a guy 
Let me tell you why 
He's the epitome of neighbourly 

My friend Fats, he's a [bad word] of a guy 
Let me tell y'all why 
He drips personality 

My friend Fats, he's a heck of a joe 
You should watch him go, 
bopping in the band shine 
with a bota bag of fried wine 

My friend Fats, he's a [bad word] of a guy 
Let me tell you why 
He's lowbrow nobility 

My friend Fats, he's a jovial sort 
When he's holding court 
the anecdotes go round and the lager goes down 

My friend Fats, he's a [bad word] of a guy 
And just as long as he's high 
he has no anxiety about his chemical dependencies 

Fats has no concerns about the candle that burns 
both ends simultaneous, both ends simultaneous 

My friend Fats, he's a [bad word] of a guy 
Let me tell y'all why 
He's not much for punctuality, 
but heck on debauchery 

Fats, he's a [bad word] of a man 
can't y'all understand 
Him taunting his mortality 
He's unnerved by sobriety