Now only an expert can deal with the problem
Because half the problem is seeing the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem

So if there’s no expert dealing with the problem
It’s really actually twice the problem
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now in America we like solutions
We like solutions to problems
And there’s so [bad word] that offer [bad word] with names like " The Pet Solution", "The Hair Solution". "The Debt Solution". "The World Solution". "The Sushi [bad word] with experts ready to solve the problems.
Cause only an expert can see there’s a problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only and expert can deal with the problem

Now let’s say you’re invited to be on Oprah
And you don’t have a problem
But you want to go on the show, so you need a problem
And so you invent a problem
But if you’re not an expert in problems
You’re probably not going to invent a very plausible problem
And so you’re probably going to get nailed
You’re going to get exposed
You’re going to have to bow down and apologize
And beg for the public’s forgiveness

Cause only an expert can see there’s a problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now on these shows, the shows that try to solve your problems
The big question is always “How can I get control?
How can I take control?”
But don’t forget this is a question for the regular viewer
The person who’s barely getting by
The person who’s watching shows about people with problems
The person who’s part of the 60% of the U.S. population
1.3 weeks away, 1.3 pay checks away from homelessness
In other words, a person with problems.
So when experts say, “Let’s get to the root of the problem
Let’s take control of the problem
'Cause if you take control of the problem you can solve the problem.”
Now often this doesn’t work at all because the situation [bad word] out of control.
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem
Only an expert can deal with the problem

Now sometimes experts lend you money
And sometimes they lend you lots of money
And sometimes when the subprime mortgages collapse
And banks close and businesses fail
And the crisis spreads around the world–
Sometimes other experts say:
Just because all the markets crashed
Doesn't mean it's necessarily a bad thing.
And other experts say: Just because all your friends were fired
And your family's broke and we didn't see [bad word] Doesn't mean that we were wrong.
And just because you lost your job and your house
And all your savings doesn't mean you don't have to pay for the bailouts
For the traders and the bankers and the speculators.
Clause only an expert can design a bailout
And only an expert can expect a bailout
Cause only an expert can deal with the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem
And only an expert can deal with the problem

And sometimes when it's really really really really hot and it's July in January
And there's no more snow and huge waves are wiping out cities
And hurricanes are everywhere and everyone knows it's a problem–
But if some of the experts say it's no problem
And if other experts claim it's no problem or explain why it's no problem
Then it's simply not a problem.
But when an expert says it's a problem and makes a movie about the problem
And wins an Oscar about the problem
And gets the Nobel Prize about the problem
Then all the other experts have to agree it is most likely a problem.

Cause only an expert can deal with the problem

Even though a country can invade another country
And flatten it [bad word]