We were [bad word] fools in Paris, stumbling on the sidewalk [bad word] along the Seine, and on the Cathedral
all the gargoyles watched us laughing,
"Two stupid Americans..." 
We were at the mercy of this passionate waiter
who pulled the corks at the Osterasis Cafe
he kept serving us wine we hadn't ordered
then he blamed us for the weather,
it was cold and rainy -
but we raised a glass up to him anyway 
We did Paris in a day,
what would Marie Antionette say?
We made a vow on the Champs Elysees
that nothing [bad word] between us 
The Mona Lisa, I said, "She smiles just like she knows me"
you said, "She's a woman with nothing to lose -
She gathers a crowd around her, then she
flirts with perfect strangers, but she'll
never take a lover in the Louvre -
she will never take a lover in the Louvre..." 
We did Paris in a Day
what would Quasimodo say?
Would he stand on top of Notre Dame
and throw down tourists to us?
a thousand stairs up the Pompadou
we were gasping at the view
if we tried for Jim Morrison's gravesite too
we'd probably have to find a tour bus
and man, how do we find a tour bus
without finding another day 
We took the M across the Seine
and headed for the Eiffel tower
and there the street merchants
called us out by name
"Cool shades here for the Americans"
They said in their finest hipster English
and then they told us, "Every Yankee looks the same"
I said, "Is it the camera case, or our American grace?"
They said, "You all just look the same..." 
We lit a candle for a ghost in the Notre Dame Cathedral
We got lost on the Left Bank looking for a place in which to stay
when we told the waiter there what we had done, he said, "Only an American would attempt Paris in a day...
Only an American would do Paris in a day..." 
We did Paris in a day
what would Marcel Marceau say?
We put up our feet at the Fountain Cafe
and toasted the bond between us
We drank sherry with an Englishman
we caught up like long lost friends
under the Arc we watched the sunset end
and laughed at the miles that had passed beneath us
the miles that passed beneath us
You said, "That's kilometres, baby"
but I wouldn't let [bad word] between us
nothing [bad word] between us
nothing [bad word] between us...