If the world was square he'd walk right off the edge
 If the sea was beer he'd probably sign the pledge
 He's an awkward lad and he won't get out of bed
 Lazy Eddie, he's got a steady
 And his girlfriend really can't see the wood for trees
 She couldn't spell her name when she took her G.C.E.s
 And the only time she's thunk she's thunk about
 the birds and bees
 She has a baby from the navy
 England my England, my my
 We are your children, Oh England don't cry
 And his Mum is a cleaner at the Co-op bakery
 She saves all her wages for a Japenese TV
 To please her old man who is [bad word] on the dole
 Supports United, the fools delighted
 That on an island built on coal and with oil beneath the sea
 We've [bad word] to get by and we've joined the E.E.C.
 And if you want a steady job you can take a tip from me
 Work for the union, long live confusion.