Well it's a long, long way, oooh 
From Bollywood to Battersea 
Bollywood to Battersea 
Bollywood to Battersea 
La la la la 
I was a child of the pound and the crown 
I lost myself in the haze 
Of the new life that I found 
On the silver screen 

She was a child of the movies and the dollar 
One fine day I was led astray 
She took me by the collar 
Said you must follow me 

Well it's a long, long way, oooh 
From Bollywood to Battersea 
Bollywood to Battersea 

It's a long, long way, oooh 
From Bollywood to Battersea 
Bollywood to Battersea 
Bollywood to Battersea 

Yeah I was a child of the suicide and the leisure 
Oh one fine day I was led astray 
To a burning collar 
Said what's your pleasue 

I was born in the four minute warning 
My old man said as he shook his head 
"Ohhh, [bad word] this... 
I'm off down the boozer"