EB: Hey Karkat, 
CG: WHAT? 
EB: My friend 
CG: WHAT!? 
EB: How's things over on your end? 
CG: WHAT ARE YOU DOING. 
EB: I just wanted to let you know I'm glad that you're my friend. 
CG: WHY ARE YOU SINGING? 
EB: And don't you ever mind. 
CG: STOP. 
EB: what they say, 
CG: NOW. 
EB: My friendlieness will not ever stray. 
CG: I'M GONNA VOMIT. 
EB: Because always and forever will I be your friend. 
CG: JOHN. 
EB: Yeah? 
CG: YOU SUCK. 
EB: Heh, yeah. 
CG: SO WILL YOU SHUT THE [bad word] UP. 
EB: You're so funny. 
CG: I WILL HATE YOU FOREVER AND I THINK YOUR POWERS SUCK. 
EB: Actually they blow. 
CG: SERIOUSLY JUST STOP. 
CG: THAT'S IT. 
CG: THIS CONVERSATION'S REACHED ITS LIMIT. 
CG: BECAUSE NEVER [bad word] EVER WILL I BE YOUR FRIEND. 

 [bad word] on Karkat, we're totally buds now. 
CG: IN YOUR DREAMS EGBERT. 
EB: Nah, my dreams mostly consist of flying and the color yellow. 
CG: GAH! I HATE YOU!. 
EB: You gotta admit were a league of fellows. 
CG: I DON'T "GOT" TO ADMIT SINGLE [bad word] THING. 

CG: I GROW SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR PATHETIC BLUE TEXT. 
CG: AND THIS IMPROMPTU SINGING IS GIVING ME HEADACHE. 
EB: Why don't you just go back and talk to me before I figured out you weren't such a bad guy? 
CG YES! I WILL PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMEGE YOU IN THE PAST SO THAT IN THE FUTURE, YOU WILL BE TOO RETARDED TO DEFEND YOURSELF! SEE YOU IN THE PAST EGBERT JOHN HUMAN! 

EB: Okay Karkat, I look forward... er backward to it. 

CG: HI AGAIN IDIOT. 
PEB: God [bad word]  leave me alone you animal! 
CG: THAT'S RIGHT YOU SOLID CHUNK OF HYPER COOLED SPACE [bad word]  I'M PACK OF HUMAN WOLVES, AND YOU WERE THROWN TO ME LIKE HELPLESS WRIGGLER! 
PEB: I know I'm gonna regret asking this, but who threw me to you? 
CG: YOUR FUTURE SELF IS THE ONE. IT'S YOU. 
PEB: Yep, I'm regretting it. 
CG: I WAS TALKING TO YOUR FUTURE SELF WHEN I FELT THE NEED FOR MORE PSYCHOLOGICALLY WEAK VICTEM, AND HE SAID "OH WHY NOT TROLL MY YOUNGER SELF, HE IS WEAK MINDED HUMAN AFTER ALL." 
CG: THAT IS MY PATHETIC JOHN HUMAN VOICE DO YOU LIKE IT? 
PEB: Yeah alright, I get it, what your saying is in the future I [bad word] a raging prick. 
CG: WHAT 
PEB: And I'm constantly spewing [bad word] from my mouth like some anti toilet, but for bulls. 
CG: HEY. 
PEB: Yep, future me is a total [bad word]  
CG: HEY! SHUT UP DUMPASS YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE SELF LIKE THAT! HE'S MY FRIEND, AND HE'S TWICE THE MAN YOU ARE! 
PEB: Okay, seriously you have issues dude. 
CG: AHHH [bad word]  HE'S GONNA REMEMBER THIS CONVERSATION..... EH TALK TO YOU LATER PAST JOHN 
CG: HEY PREASENT JOHN. 
EB: Hey Karkat, so did you troll me real good. 
CG: UH, YEAH, TOTALLY, BUT NOT IN WAY THAT YOU WOULD EVER REMEMBER. 
EB: Okay, well, you wanna sing? 
CG: UGH. FINE, YOU WIN. 
EB: Hey Karkat. 
CG: HEY JOHN. 
CG: DO YOU EVER HAVE TO GO TO THE JOHN? 
EB: Um... 
CG: I WAS JUST WONDERING SINCE YOU'RE GOD AND ALL, IF YOU HAVE TOO... 
EB: I haven't tried yet 
CG: HEY JOHN. 
EB: Hey Karkat 
EB: Your name kinda sounds like "Car Cat" 
CG: YEAH NO [bad word]  
EB: Uh, I guess were both getting a little off topic here. 
CG: THEN LETS GET BACK! 
(First refrains of John and Karkat replayed simultainiously)