Cell Block Tango
Catherine Zeta-Jones / Susan Misner / Deidre Goodwin

[LIZ]
Pop
[ANNIE]
Six
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[LIZ]
Pop
[ANNIE]
Six
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!

[ANNOUNCER]
And now the six merry murderesses of the Crookem County Jail in their rendition of "The Cell Block Tango"

[LIZ]
Pop
[ANNIE]
Six
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
(4X)

[ALL]
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it

[VELMA]
I betcha you would have done the same!

[LIZ]
Pop
[ANNIE]
Six
[JUNE]
Squish
[HUNYAK]
Uh uh
[VELMA]
Cicero
[MONA]
Lipschitz!
(2X)

[LIZ (Spoken)]
You know how people
have these little habits
That get you down. Like Bernie.
Bernie like to chew gum.
No, not chew. POP. So I came home this one day,
And I am really irritated, and
looking for a little sympathy
and there's Bernie layin'
on the couch, drinkin' a beer
and chewin'. No, not chewin'.
Poppin'. So, I said to him,
I said, "You pop that
gum one more time..."
and he did.
So I took the shotgun off the wall
and I fired two warning shots...
...into his head.

[ALL]
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He only had himself to blame
If you'd have been there
If you'd have heard it
I betcha you would
Have dome the same!

[ANNIE (Spoken)]
I met Ezekiel Young from
Salt Lake city about two years ago
and he told me he was single
and we hit it off right away.
So, we started living together.
He'd go to work, [bad word] home, I'd
fix him a drink, We'd have dinner.
And then I found out,
"Single" he told me?
Single, my [bad word]  Not only
was he married
...oh, no, he had six wives.
One of those Mormons, you know. So that
night, when he came home, I fixed him
his drink as usual.
You know, some guys just can't hold
their [bad word] 

[ALL]
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He took a flower
In its prime
And then he used it
And he abused it
It was a murder
But not a crime!

[JUNE (Spoken)]
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen
carvin' up the chicken for dinner,
minding my own business,
and in storms my husband Wilbur,
in a jealous rage.
"You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy
and he kept screamin',
"you been screwin the milkman."
And then he ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times!

[ALL]
If you'd have been there
If you'd have seen it
I betcha you would have done the same!

[HUNYAK (Spoken in Hungarian)]
Mit kersek, en itt? Azt mondjok, hogy a hires lakem lefogta a ferjemet en meg
lecsaptam a fejet. De nem igaz, en artatlan
vagyok. Nem tudom mert mondja
Uncle Sam hogy en tettem. probaltam
a rendorsegen megmayarazni de nem ertettek meg...

[JUNE (Spoken)]
Yeah, but di you do it?

[HUNYAK]
UH UH, not guilty!

[VELMA]
My sister, Veronica and
I did this double act
and my husband, Charlie,
used to travel round with us.
Now, for the last number in our act,
we did these 20 acrobatic tricks in a row
One,two,three,four,five...splits, spread eagles,
back flips,flip flops, one right after the other.
So this one night before the show we're down at the hotel Cicero,the three of us,boozin', havin' a few laughs and
we ran out of ice, so I go out to get some.
 [bad word] back, open the door, and there's Veronica and
Charlie doing Number Seventeen the spread eagle.
Well, I was in such a state of shock,
 [bad word] blacked out. I can't remember a