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Darkness, sparkle.
Eyeball zoom out.
She looks excited, is it Christmas?
No. She's... dead...
Burning guy, hallway,
Dancing burning guy, legs,
Stop, drop, and roll, [bad word]  fall up.

Princess of [bad word] 
Back to checkpoint.
Hugging Dad, WAIT, she's a zombie.
Flashback, them too.
At least that one's hot.
Just looking on the bright side.

Never give a zombie girl a piggy back ride.
I'm not crying,
there's something in both my eyes.
Pull a hatchet in.
Girl almost made it out.
Dad's a badass.
Flirt with the zombie.
After he kills her boyfriend.
No I didn't order room service,
thanks anyway. Why'd you vacation
at a place called Dead Island?
Didn't you read the pamphlet?
Yelp it next time.
She got bitten,
Dad keeps hitting.
Zombies suck man.
Chop off her ha-hand.
Embrace Dad.
This vacation sucked.

Fade.

Title card.

Home movies without Zombies.
When Dead Island... wasn't.
Wave, goodbye.