Stan: There's a bunch of birds in the sky..
And some deers just [bad word] by..
Oh, the snow's pure and white, on the earth rich and brooown..
Just another sunday morning in my quiet mountain.. town!

The Sun is Shining and the Grass is Green
Under the 3 ft of snow, I mean,
This is a day where its hard to wear a frown!
All the happy people stop to say hello [get out of my way!]
Even though the temperature's low
It's a perfect Sunday morning in my
quiet little mountain town!

Sharon: Well, Good Morning Stan!
Stan: Mom, can I have 8 dollars to see a movie?
Sharon: Movie? But I thought you were going Ice Skating.
Stan: But this is gonna be the best movie ever! Its a foreign film, from Canada!
Sharon: Alright, alright, here you go.. but be back for supper!
Stan: Thanks Mom!

Sharon:Oh, what a picture perfect child
Just like Jesus, he's tender and mild
He'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown
What an angel, with a heart so sweet and sure
and a mind so open and pure..
Thank god we live in
this quiet, redneck mountain town!

Stan: Hi, is your son home?
Mrs McCormick: I think so. HEY!
Stan: ow!
Mrs McCormick: Kenny, wake up, Kenny [bad word] on!
Kenny: [bad word] mom!
Stan: Kenny, the Terrance and Phillip movie is out! You [bad word] 
Kenny: Yeah, i wanna [bad word] lets go!
Mrs McCormick: Where do you think you're going?
Kenny: To the Terrace and Phillip movie!
Mrs McCormick: You can't, you have to go to church!
Kenny: But Mom, I wanna see the movie!
Ms McCormick: Well, fine! Go ahead and miss church, and then when you die you go to [bad word] you can answer to SATAN!
Kenny: ..okay!

(Stan) You can see your breath hanging in the air
You see homeless people, but you just don't care!
It's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown..
[And this movie's gonna make our [bad word] Cos Terrance and Phillip are sweet!]
That's right! Its Sunday morning in our
quiet, little, whitebread, redneck mountain town!

Kyle: Okay Ike, let's try this one more time.. Kick the baby!
Ike: Don't kick the baby!
Kyle: Kick the Baby! [Ike smashes through a window]
Stan: Kyle, we're going to the Terrance and Phillip movie
Kyle: Oh my God, dude!
Sheila: Kyle, what's going on?
Kyle: Nothing.. we're going skating now.
Sheila: Oh, well take your little brother out with you!
Kyle: Aww Maa, he's not even my real brother, he's adopted!
Sheila: Do as I say, Kyle!
Kyle: Okay, okay, i'm sorry..

Sheila: Look at those frail and fragile boys
It really gets me down!
This world is such a rotten place,
and city life's [bad word] disgrace!
That's why I moved to this
Redneck, meshugennah, quiet mountain town!

Cartman: Mom, somebody's at the door..
Mom, somebody's at the door, i said!
Ms [bad word]  hun!
Cartman: Hey, I can't see the TV!
News Reporter: It's been 6 weeks since Saddam Hussein was killed by a pack of wild boars, and the world is still glad to be rid of him..
Ms Cartman: Oh look Eric.. its your little friends!
Cartman: What are you doing here? [shows him movie ad]
Oh sweet dude! Yes! YES!

(Everyone) Off to the movies we shall go
Where we learnt everything that we know
Cos the movies teach us what parents don't have time to say!
And this movie's gonna make our [bad word] .
Cos Terrance and Phillip are sweeeeet! [super sweet!]
Thank god we live in a quiet, little, redneck, podunk, white trash, [kickass!]
U.. S.. A!

Stan: Can I have 5 tickets to 'Terrance and Phillip: Asses of fire', plees!?
NO!