if this is what rain on my skin feels like. I want to feel it forever, again and again. I thought it through: the same terrifying scenes in front of my closed eyes. I know I can’t change anything of this but I want you to untie the knot that holds me to the ground. Now I know, I am lost without you. It’s [bad word] [bad word]  I feel useless without you. I watched my dreams die too many times. Please not this time. I promise I will never ever beg again, if you decide to hold my hand. My expectations will always stay memories of failures. That’s why I wish you won’t stay a line in a song, but a part of my life. All my time, I spend waiting and waiting for a light like you. Your appearance shines brighter than everything I’ve ever seen. You’d say I was looking for someone to fall in love. The [bad word] [bad word] be told I was just searching myself. What a beautiful problem. What a beautiful nothing. Now it’s me, on my knees. Alone and scared: I still hate these nights. You mean everything to me and you could change the way I am, as I would [bad word] let you do it.